You can find any number of divorce tips online. You may receive even more advice from friends and family, whether you ask for it or not. From dealing with the emotions of divorce to understanding how best to co-parent, there is no shortage of well-intentioned advice available for people considering divorce, going through a divorce, or coping with divorce.
There is also a fair share of bad advice circulating online. Below, we have compiled a list of bad advice with the intention of letting our readers know what not to do in divorce - an important part of having an experienced lawyer on your side.
Watch out for these bad tips
- Get the divorce over with as quickly as possible. It can make sense for many couples to work out an arrangement out of court and with minimal arguments. It can save time and money to work together. When appropriate, it is absolutely the right choice to resolve all areas of contention as quickly as is reasonable. However, simply giving up your legal and financial rights in order to move past the divorce can severely limit your future finances and time with your children. It is worth the time and effort to do divorce right.
- Just get over your divorce already. Maybe begin a new relationship. Life certainly doesn't end after your divorce, and many people find significant relationships or remarry after divorcing. But you do not have to pretend divorce is easy or that you are not experiencing stress and emotions related to your divorce. And one of the worst things you can do is begin a significant new relationship during divorce. It can influence everything from spousal support to child custody.
- Do everything you can to keep the kids away from your ex. He or she deserves it, right? Actually, under New Jersey law, one of the ways child custody is decided is whether the primary custodial parent will foster a positive relationship with the other parent. An important note: this obviously changes in circumstances involving domestic abuse, neglect or anything that puts your children in danger.
- Don't worry about finding a good lawyer. Divorce is not a do-it-yourself project. Your divorce lawyer can help you reach your goals, including resolving issues out-of-court. But not having an experienced divorce lawyer can harm your finances and your relationship with your children.